We were instantly smitten with Jade Catta-Preta. We saw her when she opened for Bill Burr in Kansas City and, though we thought we recognizedher face, we weren’t entirely sure where we knew her from. Thus a stalker-ish Google search ensued and, lo and behold, she had been a part of several very awesome shows that we have loved over the years! Crazily enough, the woman was down to do an interview! Yes! Jade Catta-Preta was willing to do an interview with US!
Fan girling moment over here.
Jade Catta-Preta is a comedian (both stand-up and on-screen), an actress, and PRODUCER with the looks, intelligence, and comedic wherewithal to set off a pack of laughing hyenas. (Nope? That doesn’t make sense?) Well, because our metaphors are ridiculously off today, we will just say that any living, breathing being needs to know more about this chick. So we did that for you.
Jade, on a silver platter.
MOSHERY: If you could introduce yourself to our readers in any way, with money not being a factor, how would you do so?
Jade Catta-Preta: Money not being a factor? I was just going to say I’m Jade and then type in a bunch of money bag emojis. No?? I’m a comic and an actress living out of LA and New York and I make a mean over-medium egg.
M: You originally hail from Brazil. How do you think that has aided in shaping who you are and how you live your life?
Jade: Well for starters I’m strangely turned on by ponytails. I’m fully Brazilian, but everyone I meet is convinced I’m a New York Jew. I’m a hugger and a toucher. I’m loud and open and crude. I think moving to Charlottesville, Virginia when I was entering my “I just have nipples as boobs/yearbook editor teenage years” is why I ultimately fell into comedy. Making people laugh was always my equalizer and I think that started all the way back when I was still learning to grasp English.
M: When did you realize that you wanted to pursue acting and comedy as a career? What got your foot in the door/what was your moment when you realized it could happen?
Jade: When I first moved to LA through Emerson’s “Abroad Program” they housed us at these furnished apartments called, “The Oakwoods.” These luxury apartments were occupied mostly by Disney kid actors and divorced dads who were finding themselves. I had just come from Boston and I would soak in this one hot tub every night while I read my fancy business of acting book and think, “I made it.” That hot tub didn’t actually lead to any success, just a weird rash on my arm. A few weeks later I saw Ron Jeremy (the porn star, who’s been in porn since the 1800s) in there and I was like “Ohhh”. I’ve indirectly swam with every porn star in LA. Now. Now I HAVE MADE IT.
M: Oh dear. “Cat Spanx.” YES. How did that come to be?
Jade: Ha! My buddy Laura (also in the vid) came up with the idea and so it was born. Her cat felt type-cast and has quit acting since.
M: In that vein, cats or dogs? Substantiate your claim.
Jade: I liked both until my boyfriend and I found an abandoned kitten in our backyard and nursed it back to health. Now, even though Wee Thomas (our cat) lives with my parents, I’m a CAT LADY ALL THE WAY. They send me daily updates and I call her my daughter. My cat-daugther.
M: You had a recurring role on Californication. How surreal was that for you?
Jade: Way cool experience. I was actually supposed to only do 1 episode, but then ended up doing 7. Duchovny is incredibly charming and Michael Imperioli is a gem. I taught them a game I play with very simple rules: you get 5 points for touching a stranger’s hair and 10 for smelling it. Duchovny then would try to sniff my hair whenever I wasn’t looking. I have pics to prove it.
M: AMAZING. Nick Rutherford is your (hilarious) other half. Tell us more!
Jade: He is my better half. We met on a commercial for a video game and have been giggling and kissing ever since. We’ve been together for 6 years, 5 of which I’ve been side-dating this dude named Tony, who has a motorcycle and three kids from three different women.
M: Makes sense. You do a lot of work with VH1. What has been your favorite experience with them?
Jade: I’m lucky enough to get to work alongside my buddy Michelle Buteau who constantly makes me laugh so hard I’m afraid I’ll pee myself.
M: You have actually appeared–and starred–in a lot of different series over the years. Any fun anecdotes from on set? (RIP Manhattan Love Story.)
Jade: RIP Manhattan Love Story indeed! Man, I loved that show so much. No anecdotes, but fun fact, the creator of that show Jeff Lowell lives in the same small town as my parents hence why Analeigh Tipton’s character once wore a UVA sweatshirt in a scene!
M: Small world! You recently opened for Bill Burr on a couple of his tour dates. What was that like?
Jade: I’m still buzzing from it. He is a mad genius and I was just trying to soak in some of his magic. I learned a lot from a short time with him on the road and hope to be just like him when I grow up.
M: What did you honestly think of Kansas City?
Jade: It was a real quick trip, but long enough to know I HATED IT. J/k. I had a lovely stay and everyone I had sex with was quite nice.
M: We hear midwesterners are pretty polite. You seem to travel a lot. What has been your favorite adventure thus far?
Jade: I went to Tokyo with a bunch of comic buddies and my brain almost exploded. Going to Japan is like traveling to the future where everything is charming. We did a show the last night we were there for a bunch of expats and it’s a moment I’ll never forget. The lineup was me, Sandy Danto, Byron Bowers, Nick Rutherford, Eric Andre and Hannibal closed the night, it was magical.
M: We find that connecting with fans online is a big deal these days. Which social media platform is your favorite, and why?
Jade: I’m new to Snapchat and it’s become the bread of my life. I love it, but I know it’s not good for me. Also, I finally have my very own shiny website! Much like cleaning my fridge, I put it off for years, but now that it’s up and running I couldn’t be more proud. Hey everyone, go masturbate to it!
M: We hope they do! What’s on your personal playlist right now?
Jade: Let’s go. LEMONADE. Cause I gotta. I love “Hold Up” and “Daddy Lessons“. I’m a musical theatre freak and am really into the “Waitress” soundtrack by Sara Bareilles and also SIA all day every day. Other randoms I play on repeat – N.E.R.D. “Brain”, Rihanna “Work” and “FourFiveSeconds” Miley Cyrus, “Jolene”.
M: Solid playlist. What is the best video you’ve ever seen? Why?
Jade: I’m obsessed with this Brazilian children’s television star named XUXA. She once tried to do her show in English and had the Olsen twins on as musical guests. Yeah, they did music too because just being movie/television stars with a fashion/makeup lines wasn’t enough for 8 year olds. The combo of her broken English and the Olsen twins singing almost makes me cry for joy.
M: Why have we not known about this? What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given?
Jade: “Just do it” – My Grandma. Or was it Nike? Now that I’m thinking about it, did my grandma steal that from Nike?
M: Probably. I’m gonna go Inside the Actors Studio on yo ass. What is your favorite curse word?
Jade: FACK. It’s like fuck, but better? Yep. FACK – Try at home kids! I also like “Betch” but used affectionately.
M: That’s a new one! What do you think is underappreciated in this world?
Jade: Laser hair removal changed my life and I’ll recommend it even after we figure out that it’s killing us all. GO GET LASER! You never know when a pool party might happen, so BE READY. And yeah, I work for them.
M: We want in on that action. What is your opinion on Kanye?
Jade: Wait. Who? Oh yeah LOVE his fashions. Can only leave the house IF I have YEEZE on.
M: What is your biggest goal in life?
Jade: A pool, a baby and a sitcom. No. My biggest goal is be able to do ALL my grocery shopping at Whole Foods, you feel me?
M: 100%, BETCH! What’s the next big thing for Jade Catta-Preta?
Jade: Hopefully some films! I’m dying to play a drug addicted lesbian from the South, so fingers crossed. Lady Like (MTV) airs June 9th and make sure to catch Flashback Fridays (VH1) Fridays at 8. And if you wanna see me live, go to my website for my stand-up dates! Beijos!!
You heard the girl! Head to her site and see what’s up. I mean, why wouldn’t you? She’s a delight to speak with, hilarious to watch, and she’s a crazy cat lady. Trifecta. (Also be sure to follow her on Instagram, Twitter and SnapChat @TheJadeMovie. Because duh.)
Meredith has spent her life pin balling across America. She is often referred to as an entrepreneur, photographer, writer, and multi-media maven. She would label herself “butcher,” “baker,” and “candlestick maker.” (Hint: One of these is not true.) She is currently trying to find the perfect design for the DIY ukulele her twin gave her for Christmas. You can find her random musings on Twitter and Instagram.