Have you ever just had a really bad day? Maybe you hit snooze too many times and it made you late for work. Maybe you burned your face with your curling iron or your hand on the toaster. Maybe you legitimately woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Maybe you had massive road rage on your way into work because you were in the passing lane, going 32 MPH behind an older gentleman and your patience only got cut short when you could finally go around him and he cut you off, forgetting the fact that he has a turn signal. And EYES.
There are a million reasons to be in a shitty mood. And we understand that. But you want to know something really great? They make coloring books for that. Yup. Coloring books are back “in” while people are trying to make themselves more zen, and bring vivid color into their lives. Coloring has been known to reduce stress, as well as to enhance your happiness because of the utilization of many colors. You are making art without having to try too hard. (After all, someone else drew all the lines. It’s just your job to stay IN those lines. And we know that’s not always easy.)
I, myself, own many coloring books. I have a ton of Disney ones left over from when I was growing up and didn’t want to ruin the pages. (Yup. I’m stingy like that.) I have a jumbo Disney princess one that my mom bought me when I moved back from New York. (Because she loves me.) My boyfriend even bought me a fancy cat coloring book last year. (The label said it wasn’t for beginners. I disregarded this fact, but I have only completed a couple of pages. Because IT’S SO HARD.)
But nothing has been as incredible as what I now have in my possession. Because I celebrated my birthday recently **cough**26**cough**, my wonderful sister purchased three additional stress relievers for me. Because she knows me and she knows I need them.
“Fucksicles” came to me early because my sister couldn’t wait to see my face. Someone–John T., to be exact–took three of my absolute favorite things and combined them. Who knew that someone else in the world loved to cuss like a sailor, make art, and enjoy frozen desserts? (Anyone who knows me knows that ice cream will be my downfall.)
Not only does is this book full of hilariousness (like popsicles that spell out “skank” and “son of a bitch”), but there are other goodies inside. Like pages of fake ads for popsicles that spell out swear words. (What? You’ve never heard of flavors like “Strawberry Suckass” and “Egotistical Asshole”? And yes, those are the more PG versions that I’m sharing with you!) Plus, there is a unique code in each coloring book that gives you online access to freebies like additional coloring pages and fun things to make you giggle.
I was floored by this. Thought it was the best gift ever, actually. Arguably, it is. But the week DID continue in this vain.
“Creative Sweary Cats: Stress Relieving Colorful Cats With Swear Word Designs” was the next big hit. Take the fact that everyone has been calling me a future cat lady since high school (for various, inexplicable reasons, of course), and the fact that I’m in love with both my friend’s cat and my boyfriend’s cat, and people might think I really like cats or something. It could also be my wardrobe. (Who said you can’t own 2 pairs of cat socks, cat earrings, cat flats, a cat dress, and 4 cat shirts and not be a cat lady?)
Well, if you’re one to think I like cats, then you might assume this cat and swear words coloring book is right up my alley. And it is. Because look at that cat’s unimpressed face. Look at that cat hat and those cat cards and the word “bullshit” scrolled across the whole thing! Have you ever seen anything so magnificent? I mean, I’ll bet you haven’t.
Not only is this book fun and dorky, but you can join the group of people who also love it at swearwordscoloring.com. (It’s real. And it’s here to stay.)
A man named James Alexander rounds out my trio of perfection with his coloring book entitled “Memos to Shitty People.” My sister did me a solid and gifted me a book years ago that is full of letters to idiots, basically. (That’s putting it in layman’s terms.) The gist of it was that you could tear the letters out and put them on peoples’ car windows or leave them at their doorstep or hand them to them in the grocery store, etc. I was so enamored by that that I never wanted to give any of them away. (They’re fun to read sometimes!)
But my sister also knows how annoyed I get with people. In fact, most people know that. And something like this is so perfect there is no describing it. (No, really. I can’t put most of the terms into print. They’re super, super vulgar.) I mean, where else will you be able to color in things like “Pull your head out of your ass” with flowers and cute little woodland creatures all over it?
The answer is nowhere.
So check out the websites. Browse around Amazon. GET YOURSELF SOME FUN COLORING BOOKS. They’re everywhere right now, and you do NOT want to miss out on stress relieving (and hilarious) fun!
Meredith has spent her life pin balling across America. She is often referred to as an entrepreneur, photographer, writer, and multi-media maven. She would label herself “butcher,” “baker,” and “candlestick maker.” (Hint: One of these is not true.) She is currently trying to find the perfect design for the DIY ukulele her twin gave her for Christmas. You can find her random musings on Twitter and Instagram.