The Zombie Apocalypse is going to happen. We’re convinced it’ll happen soon, too. So we took it upon ourselves to think of the best celebrities to have around us when the virus spreads and we’re all fending for our lives. You don’t have to thank us, but you will want to study up on some of these answers. And it’s probably an OK idea to get in good with their managers.
Matt Damon. He can do everything…. Think about it. He was in a war, (Saving Private Ryan), he can shoot and is sly (all the Bourne movies), he can grow food out of nothing (The Martian), he is clever (all the Ocean movies), and he’d be a funny guy to have around for the rest of your short and scary life (Stuck On You…. plenty of other movies).
-Zach Jungmeyer (Independence, MO)
Plus, he bought a zoo. And GOOD WILL HUNTING. He’s a mathematical GENIUS. He could probably fix anything that you’d inevitably break.
I would choose Christian Bale, but more specifically, his character from American Psycho. That guys knows how to kill some sh*t. Also – Batman. Deadly combination. I have another – Simon Pegg. He’s been though a zombie outbreak before and did quite nicely. With a cricket paddle mind you.–Matt Brummett (Overland Park, KS)
If my family would survive the zombie apocalypse, I think we would love to have Ellen Degeneres. She is little, so she can be sneaky and tough. She is also entertaining so she would help us keep our hopes up. My bride, Emily played rugby for 6 years so she is tough, and could definitely fend for herself. I think that we would have a good chance of survival.
–Damon Arredondo (Glenwood Springs, CO)
Seth Rogan, for sure. He seems like he could protect me.
-Michelle Altenhofen (Kansas City, MO)
Maybe Chris Pratt, he’d be a brawler and it would be a funny experience. Or maybe John Goodman, he’s so cool.
–Adrian Coto (Brooklyn, NY)
I’m taking the easy way out here…I would take Brad Pitt with me.. Let’s face it, he has PLENTY of experience with zombies and potentially saving the world (World War Z), can handle a revolver (Jesse James) OR a tank (Fury), Can generally kick some ass (Fight Club) and it would just be hilarious if we found ourselves in a situation where he asked me ‘whats in the box’ (Seven).
-Casey Murawski (Kansas City, MO)
Michael Fassbender. If I’m gonna die, I might as well die in heaven.
-Emily Dold (Kansas City, MO)
Chuck Norris. His sneeze would rupture the brains of Zombies. Enough said.
-Sarah Healy (Flagstaff, AZ)
I mean, survival-wise it would be Bear Grylls, because DUH. He is the ultimate wilderness survivor and is not bad to look at either.
-Jessica Brinck (Kansas City, MO)
I will say Jon Stewart because even if the zombies win, I would probably go laughing.
-Howie Erenberg (Overland Park, KS)
I would say Michele Rodriguez because she’s incredibly fit, has fast reactions, and is experienced and trained in combat/survival tactics (guns, knives etc).
–Joy Lin (Los Angeles, CA)
Is Stephen Hawking considered a celebrity? I think I would benefit from his intelligence and then if we were ever chased by a horde I can kick him out of his electric wheelchair and use him as bait while I save my own ass and pop a wheelie on out of danger.
-Vince LeGrotte (Kansas City, MO)
Leonardio DiCaprio. Do I really have to substantiate? Like, obviously he’s a total babe, he’s intelligent, quick on his feet, and let’s be honest. If we had to re-create the human race, I wouldn’t be complaining. 😉
-Annmarie Warner (Westminster, Maryland)
Guy Fieri because he would make me LOL with his sparkling personality AND cook me up a tasty meal. (Get yoself a man who can do both.)
-Nicole Leth (Kansas City, MO)
I would take Seth Rogen. Because I think he would be a pretty entertaining guy and make an awful situation better. Most though because if things got bad I’m pretty sure I could out run him.
-Tyler Holyfield (Austin, TX)
Well I’m assuming that if it’s just me and a celebrity, then my hubs is probably gone…so I would choose Jason Statham. He is my husbands doppelganger and he seems to know how to be a badass…and let’s be honest with me by his side, we will certainly kill all the mothereffin’ zombies.
-Jennifer Bricker-Pugh (Overland Park, KS)
I don’t know Jon Snow’s real name. But whatever that is, whatever his real name is, I want HIM! Kit Harrington. He’s HOT! Or Jamie in Outlander. Well what about both of them? No? OK. Great. Both! Sounds like an orgy! I like a MANLY man. I call the guys I’m attracted to “lumbersexuals.”
–Britny West (Nomad)
Chelsea Handler. Although she’d probably criticize me and say some things that might sting, I feel like she wouldn’t go down without a good fight. Either that or she’d use me as a human shield and I’d be totally screwed. The latter is probably more accurate now that I think about it.
-Bree (Nashville, TN)
Who would you choose to be your sidekick during the zombie apocalypse? Let us know @TheMoshery!